1.  Communicate your expectations. Talk to your partner—before you move to Outer Mongolia—and discuss a few key details of the separation. It might sound redundant, but somewhere along the line, you will probably wish to be on the same page as someone who is 4,000 miles away. It’s like synchronizing your watches before a mission. The duration of the separation, what the ideal outcome is, and standards of fidelity are all important topics to cover. Agree on what these will be for both parties. If you think you will be gone for three months, keeping a relationship going with your current beau might be more feasible than carrying on a three-year long distance relationship with someone who you are not really sure you are serious about or want to marry. A standard of fidelity, whether you decide on an open relationship or staying true-blue through and through, is important because somewhere along the line, someone will probably be tempted—because they are lonely, because they are flattered, or because they simply aren’t the kind to stay at home on a Friday night. As long as you are on the same page (e.g. “if you cheat, we’re over, end of story,” “just don’t tell me and get tested regularly”) and communicate your preferences in this regard, you increase the chances of having your relationship survive the divide.

2. Decide what you are willing to put up with, and what you are not. Again, this is all about communication. If you agree to a separation, or having a long distance relationship, for six months for work, or travel, or an illness in the family, would you agree to extend that time another six months for a vacation in the Bahamas? What if you agreed to a period of one year, and then your partner decided they didn’t want to move (back) to where you are? Gauging your personal tolerance for changing plans and periods of uncertainty can help you decide if a relationship is worth the effort. If you’ve met a great guy with dimples and blue eyes, can his charm withstand the strain of his passion for working on an oil rig and only visiting land once every two years? If you are the patient type, by all means, he’s a keeper. If you are living in expectation that he will change… someday, you might want to throw in the towel and find someone on the shore.

3. Talk regularly. It probably isn’t feasible, especially if one or both of you have a job, to stay in constant contact. And even a telephone call every night might push the boundaries of reasonable expectation. But it is not ridiculous to insist on a weekly chat, however busy either of you may be during the rest of the time, to touch base and exchange messages of love and reassurance. In a long distance relationship, geographical space often opens up wide vistas for the imagination to invent scenarios of infidelity or a lack of interest where there is none, and the distance makes it harder for a person to reassure their partner of their love and fidelity. Thus, adhering to a weekly (or whatever time frame is deemed acceptable) phone call becomes both an act of reassurance, a mark of respect, and a pleasant interlude with the one you love. If you cannot phone, email, instant messaging, and Skype are terrific Internet alternatives, and an old-fashioned letter can be a deeply affecting and effective means of communication.

4.  Plan for the un/expected. Perhaps this is morbid, and probably of different value to different readers, but think (not too long! don’t dwell on it!) about what you would do if the relationship doesn’t work out. That is not to say, look around for the next in line and start auditioning replacements for Mr. Long Distance. But what will YOU do if the status of the relationship changes. Would you still move to Australia if you broke up with your Aussie sweetheart? Or would you opt to move (or stay) closer to your family and friends? And if you are planning on moving in together, or back towards each other at the end of the long distance period, do you need to be looking for apartments, or a new job? Are you moving in together, or moving his stuff out of your place? In an emotional situation, having a few logical steps in place to follow can help the process along without the added stress of “what now?”

5.  Make every visit special. If you haven’t seen your honey in several months, make some plans for the two of you. You may think that you will spend the week gazing into each other’s eyes, but unless you’re in a new relationship that might not happen. And for the rest of the week you’re both bored out of your minds, or turn back to your computer, and you don’t get the full benefit of each other’s company. This is especially true if you’re in a rural area, or a small town where there is less to do on short notice. If you are in a big city, go ahead and make reservations at a restaurant you wouldn’t normally splurge on. Plan a camping trip or a day on the river if you’re in the country. Take him to a hotel on the beach, and make sure you get the room with the Jacuzzi.

6.  Work on your relationship with yourself. Finding yourself alone for a period after seeing your honey day-to-day can leave a great deal of time to fill. Don’t let yourself mope; think about what you would really like to do—for you. Spending your free time in a constructive manner can help fend off the blues and even make you a more interesting person. How impressive would you be if you could spin poi? Or play the piano you haven’t touched in twenty years? Or speak Mandarin, French, and Russian? Of course, developing your relationship with yourself isn’t about impressing any one, but with exploring your own interests. Becoming a more interesting person is merely a happy side effect. If the erstwhile partner returns to a woman who has gleefully occupied her time with Proust and finds he doesn’t like her familiarity with French symbolism, perhaps he is a bit shallow, n’est-ce pas?